Home Alone

In the words of Bridget Jones......

"all by myself, don't want to be, all by myself"!!!!

The day has finally come, after 16 wonderful weeks of having my darling husband at home, that he has returned to work :-( Oliver and I are heartbroken - missing him terribly, and wishing that the lotto ticket we bought on the weekend had come off so that Daddy could stay home and play some more.

We are so lucky that P was able to have so much time off work - and all three of us a grateful that this precious time has allowed him to develop a strong relationship with his little boy. Oliver really is daddy's little boy, and I think it is going to hit him hard not having daddy at home this week....but boy it's going to make the weekends special!!

The last few weeks have been a bit up and down with P sick as a dog for 3 1/2 weeks, and the Ollie-bear teething and having a virus as well.....needless to say it has not made for happy nights for any of us - whilst P has sweated it up with high fevers in the spare bedroom, Oliver has been intent on breaking all sleeplessness records by having 2 nights where he did not keep his eyes closed for more than 20 minutes at a time.....poor darling was exhausted...and poor mummy literally started to fall asleep standing up at 4am on the second night!

Fingers crossed we have turned a corner....P is no longer sweating through 3 pillows a night, and last night Ollie slept for an hour at a time - I never thought I'd be happy being woken up 9 times a night - but it's a hell of a lot better than 25 times :-) It's all relative.....

So, for now, Ollie and I are going to have to get used to our new routine of just the two of us during the week....I'm sure it will take a little while to adjust but in time we'll fall in to some kind of rhythm.....I'll be a domestic goddess in no time!

No photos today sorry - will attempt to get some photos and video of our week at the beach up later this week...as well as some photos of Oliver's first appearance at International Adoption Day yesterday - he was a little star :-)

T xxx

Pass the Salt....

One of Oliver's greatest loves is food...lots and lots of food!

You know how you are not supposed to get between a Hippo and the water (because the Hippo will charge for the water and take you out in the process)...well, it is kind of like that with Ollie and food....as long as you keep shovelling it in at a pace he deems suitable, everything goes well.

It is actually an absolute delight feeding him as the enjoyment of the current mouthful and the anticipation of the next mouthful are written all over his beautiful little face.

When watching the video be sure to look for his eyebrows going through the roof as he opens his mouth as wide as humanly possible ;-)

Bon Appetit!

Monster on the move

From not being able to sit up without support just 11 weeks ago, our little monster is well and truly on the move...

This video was taken about 10 days ago - his technique hasn't improved much...but it's effective, and we think he's pretty clever ;-)

P.S. Mummy is also feeling pretty clever after learning how to upload videos!

Hello Stranger!

Hi guys,

So sorry for the lack of updates – I know it’s slack of me…but life has been pretty busy as you might imagine.

We have stayed underground a bit, just trying to get Oliver into some sort of a routine he is comfortable with, work on him sleeping a bit more and a bit more regularly (mixed results so far!!), and work out how this whole parenting thing is supposed to be done (mixed results again!).

The days just seem to go by in a blur of feeding, trying to get Oliver to sleep, washing, playing with Oliver (the fun bit!), stressing about not getting anything done around the house/in our lives in general (the organised me is not coping well with so little time to get things done), trying to keep the house/our lives in some sort of order (unsuccessfully), and trying to grab some sleep (very mixed results).

Before we know it, it is bin night again and another week has rolled on by….wow life is going fast at the moment.

Our little boy is growing and learning and developing at a great speed – it seems like he is learning something new every few days. We are in awe of him and how much he has caught up on in the last 10 ½ weeks we have been together (is it really only 10 ½ weeks?? Wow, it seems like a lot longer than that!). He has gone from a little baby who could not even sit up and didn’t know what on earth to do with the toys we gave him (he would just stare at them and wouldn’t even try and touch them) to a little boy who crawls (well, kind of crawls) towards towers of blocks that Daddy has made and then delights in smashing them down (such a boy!).

He is so curious and explores everything…perhaps that’s why he doesn’t want to sleep – there’s just so much to look at and touch and put in his mouth and explore!! Current favourite items are Daddy’s shoelaces, and power cords….time to babyproof! He continues to love to “dance” (Daddy is trying to teach him to grapevine…good luck daddy!) and will do anything to be up on two feet rather than sitting on the floor.

We had a follow-up with the Paediatrician this week and Ollie has put on 1kg since we got home…he’s gone from a fairly skinny thing into a little chubbalicious bubba. He now has some lovely fat rolls around his legs, and a good covering on his tummy. Even so he is only 9kg now (compared to the 10kg we were told he was 4 months ago!!). He hasn’t gained any height as yet and is a very small baby for his age…small, but perfect.

We have sent the arrival of two razor sharp teeth (middle, bottom), which given half the chance he enjoys using on Mummy and Daddy’s nose…ouch! Much to our delight, he is also finding his voice (we had a silent baby for the first couple of months and were getting pretty worried about it). In the morning I love to lie in bed and listen to Ollie making Ooh and Aahh sounds, and the little squeal of delight I get when I pop my head over the side of the cot to pick him up makes my heart melt.

P and I are being treated to great big smiles and sounds of delight when we re-enter a room these days – it’s just adorable. Ollie’s face lights up and he shakes his little head back and forth with glee. Such a darling little boy.

Last week we managed to take a day trip to Mt Tamborine and go on a bit of a bushwalk – this did P and I the world of good, and Oliver seemed to tolerate being out and about for most of the day pretty well. In general he is a pretty adaptable little boy…but it all depends on how well he has slept. Like all of us, he gets pretty cranky if he’s tired…and you do NOT want to get between this boy and his food!! Meal times are serious business, and you interrupt them or cut them short at your peril!

We are totally in love with our darling little boy (especially today ‘cause he’s having an afternoon sleep for the first time all week!!). We are slowly starting to get to introduce him to people, although he still does get pretty overwhelmed at times so we’re trying not to overdo it…..in the meantime, here are some recent photos of our precious little Emperor, who turn 11 months today.

T xxx



My very first bushwalk with Mama and Baba

My first haircut (an absolutely tragic haircut....but it will grow out, right?)

Out for my afternoon walk by the water with Mama and Baba...mmm, these fingers taste good!

Warm, snuggly and scrumptious in my Lion hat

Funky morning hair - gotta love the baby mohawk!

Picnic in the Park

Cruising in my new Stokke pram.....

If you looked up "Adorable" in the dictionary...

2 Weeks Home...

Has it really been 2 weeks tomorrow since we have been home - blimey, that went in a flash!! Actually, it has felt like a rather looong 2 weeks in many ways...but I'll get to that.

Oliver was an absolute champion on the flight home. He had a bottle on the way up and then we just kept topping up his tummy with watermelon and whatever else we could find and he was as happy as a lark...he even managed to have a little sleep in the bassinet for about an hour - and Mummy and Daddy got to have a little time out!

We arrived home at midnight and came out through immigration to see a very excited (and very tired!) Nanna and Poppy waiting for us. My poor dad had already made two trips to the airport that day, but I think this last one was the most exciting!! Oliver went in for a little cuddle and then quickly searched for his mummy again, which was lovely.

I think the whole airport knew about us by the time we left - there were lots of tears and laughter and the odd squawk of discontent from Master Oliver...well, it was after midnight and he was tired!

It was lovely to walk in to our beautiful house again...and I was reminded of what a great idea it was to clean it completely BEFORE we left for China...it would not have been nice to come home to a dirty house at that time of the night!

Since arriving home we have been keeping to ourselves most of the time. Initially this was to allow Ollie to have some settling in time, but now it's because we are EXHAUSTED!! The little monkey has decided that sleeping is for wusses, and is testing his mummy and daddy to the extreme by only sleeping for 20 minutes at a time during the day, and trying to survive on 8 hours sleep a night (broken up into small chunks of course!)....needless to say he is one cranky little monster a lot of the time because he is so tired...P says that I am also a cranky monster most of the time, but I'm sure he's mistaken....

So we are working on a parenting challenge as old as time itself...how to get the baby to sleep!!

We are strongly opposed to letting him "cry it out" as we think that for any child who has already been abandoned and possibly fears being abandoned again that this would be pretty traumatic. So, the balancing act comes from trying to meet his needs whilst at the same time teaching him to stay asleep (which requires a certain amount of self soothing)....tricky....

So our deepest apologies to all of your whose emails / texts/ phone messages have so far gone unanswered...and to those who have sent gifts to Oliver in the mail - thank you so very much!! We have been so excited to get a few parcels this week - they have provided a really bright spot in otherwise bleak days. I promise to do my best to get in contact with everyone in time, but realistically it is going to take a while....it's taken me 2 weeks to have 10 minutes to myself to write this!

Sorry to say, I haven't even had time to download the photos from the cameras yet, so I don't have anything to put on here today...but I will work on it. We haven't taken many photos the last week or so as this sleep-deprived fog we are in allows for the essentials only..,the occasional meal, and trying to work out how to get back to bed as quickly as possible!

Here's to getting some sleep! Fingers crossed!!!

T xxx
P.S. Oliver has cut his first tooth, and his second one is starting to peep through (which is no doubt contributing to the sleeping problems and the crankiness). I feel sad that his gorgeous gummy smile will soon be a thing of the past....

Just a Quickie...

We are safely in Hong Kong and have found a cafe that does great coffee and reasonably priced internet...but Oliver is getting grizzly (do NOT delay this boy's meals!!) so will be quick...

We felt a real sadness leaving China 2 days ago...and taking Oliver away from his homeland. It's hard to explain, but it felt like the breaking of yet another connection in his little life, and the guilt we both both felt over it surprised even us (and we had been expecting it!). There were many tears shed as the plane left the tarmac in Nanchang. I know we will be back, we have promised him that....but leaving is leaving, nonetheless.

We love Hong Kong (P calls it "China Light" - like China, but watered down). We are staying at a beautiful hotel with an awesome view of the harbour (yay for last minute internet deals!). It is comfortable, clean and has a lovely soft bed....bliss...not that I've gotten to use it much, as the little monster is still having sleeping issues....

Getting excited about being home in just over 48 hours...looking forward to:

Seeing family

Seeing our house

Seeing friends

Our bed

Seeing Oliver in his beautiful pale blue sailboat nursery

Seeing my Mum and Dad's faces when they hold their grandson for the first time (am looking forward to this the most of all!!)

No doubt it will take us a couple of days before I update this again....it may not happen until we are well and truly settled in....so thank you again to everyone for all your support, good wishes, e-love and cuddles, and friendship over the last fe weeks. We are so blessed to have you in our lives.

Here are some random photos to keep you going (I KNOW that's why you're here!!!)

Love,

T, P and Oliver xxxx

Heading Home, Mother's Day, KFC, and Galactic Peace....

What a week it has been! We arrived back in Oliver’s province on Wednesday, returned to the Galactic Peace Hotel (and yes, Sarah, its suspicious green Galactic Sculpture is still there!). It was a little bit like coming home…well, kind of!

We had one night back in Nanchang while we organized the visit back to Oliver’s Orphanage County (the Chinese equivalent of a small town...this one has (only) 100,000 people...), and then on Thursday headed back to the County where Oliver spent the first 8 month of his life. The county is small, about 3 hours drive from Nanchang…and is the real China. No frills, no fuss, and no luxury. We stayed in the county for two difficult, emotionally draining, confusing, enlightening, awareness-building days. We have gained a lot of information and insight into Oliver’s life before us, and we are so glad that we made the trip back.

But now, we’re on the way home. Nanna and Poppy are getting excited!!

We’ve decided to have a few extra days here in Nanchang to regroup after the visit to the county, and have been taking it very easy today.

My first mother’s day (yay yay yay!!! Finally!!!) was spent making a trip to Wal-Mart for essential supplies (nappies, more cute little short sets for Oliver, and Oreos) and having a “special” lunch at KFC. Now, we don’t eat KFC at home….so why on earth we thought it would be a good idea to have KFC in Nanchang, I have no idea. It was awful – just awful. I think the chicken died of old age! Thank goodness we had bought Oreos (as a side note….it always amazes me that wherever we go in the world – Bolivia, Botswana, Brazil, Bulawayo…there are always Oreo cookies in the local shop, and they are always cheap!).

“My Boys” (I love saying that) and I also skyped Nanna, Poppy and Aunty J, and this afternoon caught up with P’s sister and her lovely family on Skype – they watched Ollie have his dinner (fascinating stuff!) and, like us, were amazed by the amount of food one little 9 month old boy can eat!! Groceries are going to be more expensive……

So that’s where we’re at. Just hanging out here for a few days and then having a few days in Hong Kong before heading home late Saturday night.

Thank you to everyone who has asked about coming to meet us at the airport – we really appreciate your excitement and support. We have decided to just keep the airport for Nanna and Poppy though…they have been waiting for every minute of the 7 ½ years we have been on this journey, and we think it would be nice for them to have some quiet time with their first grandchild when we first hit homeland soil. I hope you all understand?!!

Must run….my darling little boy has gone to bed quite early and given me a mother’s day gift of some precious time with daddy tonight. We have a bottle of wine (I won’t get my hopes up!) and some room service on its way…..sounds perfect.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mummies out there. I finally know what it’s like to be in your exclusive club…and I like it!

T xxxx

On the Road Again....

We've packed up and moved on from Shanghai - absolutely loved it though, so know that we will be back.

We've had a few ups and downs over the last few days...a few pretty bleak moments as a result of lack of sleep, frightened baby, viruses, Oliver's grieving, and walking the floor 2 nights in a row collided. Thank you to our darling friends who showered us with empathy and understanding, we really appreciate your support.

We also had some nice moments though...like visiting a park and then having lunch with a fellow adoptive dad who is now living the expat life in Shanghai, and walking down Nanjing Road early in the morning and watching the traditional fan and sword dancers practice their arts next to the group doing line dancing to "It's my party and I'll cry if I want to".The contrasts between old ad new in Shanghai are phenomenal.

It seems like things are on the up at the moment (long may it continue!). Oliver is a happy, contented, gurgly little baby today - he coped very well with the flight from Shanghai to his province, and is lying beside me on the floor doing major damage to a vegetable flavoured rusk.

Tomorrow we are heading to his hometown and orphanage for 2 nights. We are really not sure what the trip back will bring, but it is our hope to do all possible to get information about his life before us that may (or may not) be important to him throughout his life...we'll have to see how things pan out, but we are hopeful of filling in a few gaps and coming away with a greater understanding of his life before we became a family....fingers crossed things go well....it's going to be a tough few days both physically and emotionally I think.

We haven't taken many photos over the last few days, but I'll leave you with a couple to keep you going. We are back online over the weekend, so will probably update again then.

Sending lots of love to our friends and family. We love you. Thank you again for your messages and support - sorry we're not answering many emails (Internet access in Shanghai was incredibly expensive, and time has been tight) but we are reading and enjoying them all.

Love,

T, P and O xxxxxx

Take a book they said.....

When you are preparing for an adoption trip, and self-respecting parent writes lists…and hunts out other people’s lists on the internet, and then makes lists of their lists, and checks their lists against other people’s lists…packing lists are pretty high on the lists of lists that are needed before heading off to meet your baby…and let’s just say, I was the queen of packing lists. I have lists of my packing lists.

But have the lists been useful?

Yes, and no….

Many BTDT (been there done that) China adoptive parents listed books on their packing lists, with the rationale that once your darling angel is fast asleep at night, there will be many, many hours of Chinese TV time…and once your bore of CNN, you will want a good book to help pass the hours and hours of boredom you are sure to have to endure.

Obviously, these people were all on drugs.

Free time? Hours and hours to watch TV? Hours of boredom? Not in my hotel room baby!!

Our TV is currently being used as a drying rack for bibs, muslins that have been puked on, and various items of baby-fied clothing. The second Oliver is eventually asleep we are cleaning up, washing dishes and clothes, and getting ready for tomorrow's onslaught before dropping dead tired into bed...

There has been no need for a book…unless you can hang washing on it, eat it or change a nappy on it, it’s just not necessary!

So packing lists have their place....but not books...

We have had a quiet day today, we’re all still feeling quite under the weather so it has been goof not to have any commitments at all today.

Our batch all went home yesterday, and there were a few tears when saying goodbye to our darling friends. We are so blessed to have shared the past few weeks with a few couples that we are so lucky to be able to call our friends. Some existing friendships have deepened over the last few weeks, and another has developed…we are grateful for all of them. It’s going to be lovely for Oliver to have such gorgeous Aunties and Uncles and China-cousins when we get home.

So we are now on our own in China. The plan is to stay in Shanghai for a few more days and then head back to Oliver’s province for a week. We’re not sightseeing, just hanging out as a family and learning more about Oliver’s life before we met him.

As I type this, my little munchkin is sitting on the couch next to his Dad and I, playing with daddy’s thermometer (first the stethoscope, now the thermometer…is there a pattern here?) and looking absolutely adorable in his Bonds light blue fluffy onesie (thanks Nanna!). Honestly, he gets more and more beautiful every day…he really does.

Tomorrow’s plan revolves around following Oliver’s needs for sleep and food (we are letting him dictate the family routine at the moment) and having lunch in the park with a fellow adoptive parent of two China babies who is now loving in Shanghai. We’re looking forward to it immensely.

I’ll leave you with some photos of my little emperor playing on the couch right now, and sucking on his toy cow earlier today – isn’t he beautiful?

T xxxx

Forget Sleepless in Seattle….we are sick in Shanghai….

It's 5.30am and we're all awake....well, P is semi-comotosed, but O and I are up...grizzly, but up...

All three of us have caught the dreaded cold, and poor P seems to have a tummy virus on top of that…he's not slept a wink all night (neither have we)...not happy, Jan! We have had another rough night, with our little snotmonster becoming quite upset as he became more congested…and when mummy tries to wipe his nose (he HATES it!!)….needless to say the end result is not at all satisfactory….there will be no photos today :- )

Apart from various viral bugs, we are trotting along pretty well. Oliver seems to be starting to feel OK about being with us, and is going to sleep a little easier than he was a few nights ago which is fantastic…for all of us!

We have been really enjoying Shanghai – it’s such a vibrant, energetic city. Recent adoption groups have hated it here, and I have to say I have trouble understanding why..but each to their own. We have visited the beautiful Yu gardens, had a lovely dinner in an old factory converted into the most wonderful rustic restaurant in a hutong-type area of old Shanghai, seen the stunning light display on the river, walked up and down Nanjing Road, spent a fortune at the underground Children’s market, and enjoyed the satisfaction that can only come from a fantastic mocha grande from Starbucks…

We love Shanghai so much that we have decided to extend our stay here by 5 days before heading back to Oliver’s province where we will spend another week (not part of the adoption process, just us on our own). We are looking forward to having some more free time both in Shanghai and in his province just to hang out, look around and soak up the sights, sounds (and smells – gotta love fermented tofu – not!) of his birthcountry. We also think that having extra time in China as just the 3 of us will help cement our little family together a bit more before day-to-day life at home gets in the way….

We cannot believe how far Oliver has come in just over a week with us. We are learning more about him every day – yesterday we leant that he actually will drink water…but only from an eye dropper…a slow, but effective hydration technique. We can also now tell if he has filled his nappy purely from the look of satisfaction on his face (useful now that P and I are crook and can’t rely on the nose detector). He is such a darling, happy little baby….we are beyond blessed.

I started this post early this morning and am only finishing it now, at 9pm- life is like that these days! I have Ollie on my lap so will sign off before he hits the delete key again…little monster loves to hit the keys when mummy's typing!! No photos from today…P has not lifted his head off the pillow all day except to help me go and collect the washing…gastro and a cold doth not make him a happy camper….he is weak as a kitten and looks dreadful...fingers crossed he will feel a lot better tomorrow as his is absolutely miserable right now.

I’ll leave you with piccies from previous days…sans snot.

Oliver says uytuytuiyt98y809089 - what a clever boy!! Time for bed now Ollie!!

Goodnight!

T xx

With daddy the first day we met...about 1 1/2 hours after meeting

The eyes have it.....Oliver cruising in his sling, with muslin head dress :-)

One Week....

Well, it's been one week since our lives changed forever...one week since we held our darling Oliver in our arms for the first time.

What a week it has been!

Less sleep

More love

More cuddles

Less bathing

More Congee (rice soup that Oliver loves to eat)

Less time together with P

Less sleep

More spit

Less clean clothes

Less sleep

More smiles

....and did I mention less sleep and more love?

We have all laughed and cried a hundred times this week...our emotions (all of us) have ben put through the wringer...but slowly, ever so slowly, we are all getting back to our normal selves. It is going to take a long time, but we will get there, and we will find our own groove as a family soon.

We had a great flight the other day. Oliver was a real pro and took his bottle on the way up and down, and slept during the flight itself. What a champion - and so clever and handsome!

We are in Shanghai now and we love love love it (and no, not just because it has Starbucks...although that doesn't hurt!!).

We underwent the Australian visa medical procedure today - it was far better than I had feared it would be, and once again Oliver amazed us with his calmness and strength. He is one special little boy. We were so so proud of him.

Daddy got his stethascope out this morning and did an initial medical exam on Oliver to try and get him used to being poked and prodded....I really think it helped. Oliver then promptly fell asleep with the stethoscope and would not let it go. I hope he's not getting any ideas for future professions!!!

I know you are all here for the photos so I will not disappoint you all.....here is Oliver!

Love to everyone,

a very happy T and P....and the amazing, gorgeous O xxxxx

Oliver, gorgeous boy

My darling boy is not settled at all tonight so while daddy has a go at getting him to sleep, I thought I'd quickly share some photos....

Oliver is feeling much better, thank you all for your thoughts. We are flying to Shanghai tomorrow, so positive vibes for a smooth plane ride please...especially since his little gums and ears are still hurting....poor darling.

All in all, things are going really well. He continues to delight and surprise us, and has us in stitches with his funny little ways.

We are head over heels in love.

Thank you to everyone for your emails/texts/comments. We are reading them all, but have not had the time to answer you all - so sorry! We really appreciate your thoughts though.

My little monkey is stil not settled, so I'd better go and give daddy a hand....we are ready for bed, but it seems that Oliver is not....don't quite know when the packing is going to get done??!!!

Talk to you from Shanghai!

T xx

A Really Quick Hello

Hi everyone.

We have him...he is beyond beautiful....

We are a family of three and we could not be happier (or more exhausted!)

Promise to write a proper post soon, but it is so busy at the moment as Oliver will not settle without being in our arms, so we are quite restricted - and there's lots of things to do (who knew having a baby was so hectic!).

Oliver is grieving quite a lot, and is clearly quite frightened of us a lot of the time. He is also sick and we have spent quite some time this afternoon at the hospital which was traumatic for all of us....nothing serious, but he's crook enough to make him feel pretty awful lot of the time. Still, through all of it we are getting gorgeous toothless grins, some brief giggles, and increasing amounts of eye contact...all good signs that he is starting to take to us a little bit.

We are absolutely head over heels in love!!

So enough of that.....here he is....Oliver

Love to you all,

T, P and O xxxxx

45 minutes

to go.....

don't quite know what to do with ourselves....P has decided to iron something (don't know why?!), so I am sitting here...neither of us can really speak much.

42 minutes to go...

Bring on the Baby, Baby!!!

Oh baby!

We are 1 hour and 45 minutes away from Oliver.....

so close....so close.

Emotions are high - fear, anticipation, sadness (for Oliver's loss, and his birth family), excitement, pure joy, love...did I say love?

So many emotions.

We leave the hotel in 1 hour....1 hour....1 hour.

We are beside ourselves.

Our son is on his way...

We're coming darling...we love you, we will always love you.

See you soon.

From years, to months, to weeks, to days...

To hours...

As I sit here in our hotel room in my son's province in Southern China, it is merely 44 hours and 45 minutes until we meet Oliver....wow....

It is merely HOURS until we have our son in our arms, and the 7+ year wait to kiss and cuddle and smooch our child is over...as is Oliver's 8 1/2 month wait for his forever family. 3pm on Monday afternoon is when it's all going to happen....wow.

Unfreakingbelievable!!!

Our trip from Hong Kong was great - we shared the journey with 3 other couples who are in our "batch"of 6 couples. There was a lot of nervous tension in the air on that plane!

Our hotel in Nanchang is called the "Galactic Peace"...ambitious (no, let's not just go for world peace, let's shoot for the stars people...Galactic Peace!!). We have a suite which is great as we have a little extra room for the moo-ster to hang out with us in. When the housekeeper wheeled in a little white cot yesterday afternoon and placed it in our bedroom we got really choked up...

Last night we all met for an early dinner, checked out the local brew and the "Great Wall" red wine (not bad...but to be honest I would have drunk firewater last night!). We all had a relatively early night, and a relatively uncomfortable night's sleep on the rock hard beds (why oh why does every bed in Asia need to feel like a concrete slab?).

Today we headed out with a local shop owner called Tiffanie, who owns "Lucky Tiffanie's", a shop stocking all sorts of souvenir-type stuff. Tiffanie is associated with a small school about 50km out of Nanchang, where local children come to learn English, calligraphy, and music. The taxi ride to and from the town was terrifying.

As most of you know, P and I have done some pretty extreme travel over the last decade and a bit....from undertaking a torrential glacial river crossing in Patagonia and finding that a couple had slipped during the crossing and been killed there just 3 days before, to being abandoned by our guide and left with no food in the middle of the Amazon jungle, and surviving on eating pirhanas for 2 days (sorry mum - had I told you that already or did I choose to keep that quiet?), to nearly going off the side of a cliff in a bus doing hairpin turns in the dark with no headlights in Peru, to crazy taxi drivers in Bangkok, Rio de Janiero, Beijing and Zanzibar....but never, ever have I felt so afraid as I did in this taxi today. He was crazy. We clocked 140 miles per hour (P says for the record it was only 120 miles per hour....whatever, but it was bloody fast) on the wrong side of the road, going UP the offramp for the freeway, with other cars coming straight at us. I have never been so convinced I was going to die, and actually made P promise to fight for the right to still adopt Oliver on Monday if I was killed and he survived. It really was that scary.

I'm shuddering just thinking about it!!

Anyway, back to the nice stuff....

Once we made it to the small town (my legs literally gave way as we stepped out of the taxi) our group of 4 couples were the star attraction for the children who attended the local English school. They have not had foreigners visit them before, and I suspect we were the first non-Chinese people they had seen in the flesh. The children were shy to start with, but slowly practiced their English with us, and posed for photographs (they just loved seeing themselves in the playback of the digital cameras!). They were so lovely. Their music teacher gave us a beautiful demonstration of the zither, and then we all had a chance to have a quick lesson with him. The calligraphy teacher then taught us ""calligraphy 101" and we practiced writing our own names which was fantastic.

We headed back to Nanchang after about 2 hours at the school (different taxi driver, still crazy...offered to pay him double if he went slower....he didn't) and hit Walmart (or perhaps mor correctly., Walmart hit us...hard!). How to describe Walmart...um, overwhelming. Fantastic, but pretty noisy, smelly (they have great piles of dried fish on display and a million other things in the meat department that will fuel my nightmares for many weeks to come!), crowded and bustling! I tried to take a sneaky video just to try and capture the sheer chaotic-ness (is that a word?) of the whole place.

Relaxing it ain't!

So that brings us to now....we have changed hotel rooms (first one was on a smoking floor and stunk to high heaven so we changed to nonsmoking this arvo...a pain, but worth it) and are now sitting and doing nothing. We are pretty worn out after today's adventures. We have a bottle of "Great Wall" and intend on doing nothing more than drinking it, ordering room service, and counting down the hours until we kiss our baby.

44 hours to go....

T xxx

Langham me Baby

A glorious massage, a facial, a comfortable bed, my darling husband, French Champagne, sleep ins, handmade chocolates, finding out that dear friends have gotten "the call" about their children in Thailand and China, a pillow menu, hours of time to really talk an connect with P, cable TV, a hundred belly laughs with my husband and our darling friends (and batch-mates), winning the fight against a new laptop gone bad, a good book, 2 x afternoon naps, stunning views, buffet breakfast, quiet reflection on impending parenthood, a rain shower, dreaming and talking and contemplating our son, Skype-ing my family, and unlimited snacks and drinks.

A snapshot of the last 2 days in Hong Kong.

Perfection.

China...we're ready. See you tomorrow.

T xxx

Meet you at The Club....

Well, we are finally in Hong Kong....8 hours closer to our baby boy, and a million miles away from the stress of packing, repacking, and getting ready to leave.

We. Are. EXHAUSTED!!

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning (I've been avoiding them of late) and wondered who the spotty-faced panda was in our hotel room....ahh yes....that's me. Bags under my eyes big enough to pack a week's worth of clothes in (if only we had the weight allowance available!!). Just quietly, P is not looking much better....we looks like Ping and Pong, the zombie pandas!!

We're hoping that the 2 days of rest and relaxation we have planned in Hong Kong (Honkers for the Aussies out there) will go some way towards fixing our panda problem...and the sore throats we both have.

We are staying in the most magnificent hotel room ever - at the Langham Place, in a Club room. Bloody hell this place is nice!!! We selected a lavender pillow from the pillow menu last night (or the "dream menu" as they call it here in Langham Land), and slept for 7 hours straight. Can you imagine it?! We have access to a club room here that provides complimentary food and drink all day, massage chairs, and magazines etc. I don't think we will step outside the hotel until we leave for China...

Decadent? You betcha!

Time to go and enjoy breakfast, then perhaps a swim in the rooftop pool....and enjoy our last few days together as a couple.

Jealous?

Txxxx

Leaving on a Jet Plane

Don't know when we'll be back again (not just the John Denver song...quite seriously, we don't know when we'll be back!)





Well...we are packed...finally. Initially packing weight was 11kg over our limit...eventually, at 3am this morning, we reached weight limit. God knows what we threw out of the cases in the end - we were so tired and hungry we couldn't think straight (I wouldn't let P eat until we got the suitcases sorted 'cause once he eats he does his little "homer simpson" act and is useless for the rest of the night!! treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen I say!!). Sorry...got sidetracked there!

We're hoping that we might get extra weight limit once we get Ollie....which I fully intend to use purely as "shopping weight". Oh yes, I'm looking forward to shopping in China - one of my batch buddies (yes YOU Princess SarahB) is known throughout the land for her shopping prowess..I am a mere beginner but I look forward to learning from the best.

So, we are heading to Hong Kong TOMORROW and will have 3 nights there (sleeping. eating. sleeping. getting massages. sleeping) before heading to China on Friday the 17th. We'll then have a couple of days to find our way around before

Meeting Oliver

on the 20th (don't know what time yet).

Still all feels so surreal...maybe because we are so sleep deprived that we can't think straight! I think I will be the first mother in history who gets more sleep after the baby comes home than before...

Hopefully we will be able to update this blog from Hong Kong and China. We have our lovely new (small) laptop, so internet connection willing, you will hear more from us soon.....

We are also on email and T's mobile will hopefully be able to send and receive texts....we'd love to hear from you!!

Love,
T and P - the soon-to-be weary travellers xxxx

Ten Days

Until Ollie Moo!!!!

Gentlemen, start your engines....

And get ready to meet Oliver!!

Our Notice to Travel has arrived, and we now have the green light from China to book flights and get our butts over to our Ollie Moo!!

In 2 hours this afternoon we managed to find and pay for flights that leave for Hong Kong next Tuesday (no mean feat over Easter!) and book accommodation in Hong Kong....we really are getting ready to go!

6 days until we leave, and only 12 days till we kiss our baby. Wow.

Guess who is not going to be able to sleep tonight?

T xxx

14 sleeps

'till I kiss my baby!

From the bottom of our hearts....

Thank you.

Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who has made this weekend so so special. We have had a weekend filled with joy, laughter, love, friendship, family and so many people's hopes, dreams and love for our son. To each and every one of you, thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

We feel unbelievably blessed to have all of you in our lives.

A special thank you to my wonderful mum, and our beautiful friend Gill. They have organised, cooked, created, co-ordinated and shopped...and made this magical weekend possible. Thank you also to my wonderful and incredibly proud dad who helped P wet Oliver's head on Saturday night.

Once again, we are overwhelmed by the love you have for our son. We are also completely overwhelmed by all of your generosity - the gifts you have given to Oliver are all so special...they will be treasured and adored.

I know I've said it before....but I'll say it again. He is magical -already creating magic in our lives xxx

Lots of love,
T xxxxx

NTT is on its way!!!

News just in!!!

We have just received an email from our adoption officer telling us that our NTT left China yesterday.

Everybody now.... WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We have also received a draft itinerary that tells us the date that we should get to meet our little boy....are you ready.....really? OK.....

That's right, only 17 sleeps away (for P...probably only 10 or so sleeps for me 'cause I am becoming an insomniac of late!) .

Once more can I hear a WWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOO HHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am jumping our of my skin with excitement. We are nearly there, we are SO nearly there....

We have our visas already and can travel to China as soon as we have the NTT in our hands....we need to talk this weekend about whether we will go and spend some time in Hong Kong or Kunming or Beijing or somewhere else prior to meeting Ollie, or whether we will wait and fly out on the 16th as originally planned...there is still so much to do....

A busy weekend awaits us, starting with dinner with my Mum and Dad tonight at one of our favourite restaurants. We are already late...I'm just waiting for P to get home from work....tomorrow and Sunday there are a variety of celebrations happening which we are really looking forward to.

Life is good.

Now, bring on the baby!!

T xxxxxxx (grinning from ear to ear like an idiot - a very, very happy idiot!)

Thank you doesn't seem to cover it....

Thank you everyone for your support, excitement, tears, laughter and gifts for our beautiful Oliver. We are absolutely overwhelmed by your kindness!

Our mail box has been a constant source of delight over the last few weeks as everything from gorgeous little socks to hand-made quilts, to ring slings to carry Oliver around in, to books and scrapbooking supplies have found their way to us. We have also been inundated with good wishes and gorgeous gifts from the beautiful staff at P's work who gathered with us for afternoon tea today.

This little boy is magic - can't you just feel it?!!

T xx

8 Months

8 months ago, my darling little boy came in to the world. The day that we have been given as his birth date was warm and sunny in Southern China.

Half way around the world, I was struggling with a cold and working on my presentation for the Adoption Conference I was speaking at later in the month. P was working during the day, and was pretty busy. In the evening we watched the DVD "P.S. I Love You". I cried all through the movie....

There is not a lot I remember specifically about the day itself, but I do remember watching that movie and then not wanting to stop hugging P that night. I'm glad I can remember at least something from that day....

No News is Not Good News

Still no word on the NTT.....the longer it takes, the less chance of meeting Oliver on the 13th of April....the 20th of April is now looking far more likely. Please God don't let it be any later than that, I don't think I could stand it.

Every day is seeming like a week....

On a brighter note, I met up with some beautiful girls today at one of my batch buddy's baby showers - it was just beautiful. Some of you will know that P and I have been blessed with some wonderful people in our batch - we are very close to 2 of the couples and feel so lucky to be sharing this journey with them.

Hope everyone's week is going well. I am feeling quite exhausted so will sign off and attempt to sort out the house a bit before getting dinner ready for my darling (exhausted, overwhelmed, insanely overworked) husband. P finishes work on Friday and has about 3 months' work to get done in the next 3 days....poor boy.....

Love,
T xxx

Go NTT Go Go Go!!!!!!

C'mon China, you can do it - get that NTT to us ASAP!!!

To Leave Comments

Hi everyone,
A few people have been asking how to leave comments on the blog - it's really easy once you know how...

At the end of each post there is a link that says "1 comment" or "0 comments" etc, just click on that link and the comments page will load...you can then either read other people's comments, or leave your own. You can comment anonymously (ie you don't have to have a blogger account).

I have set the comments to "moderated" which means they won't show up until I have approved them - this is to stop nasty spam, and to make sure that only our initials end up on the blog, not full names :- )

Hope you all have a wonderful weeked.....my list for this weekend includes:
-Work (Private practice)
-Getting paint for Ollie's room
-Painting Ollie's Room
-Collecting P's new sexy camera and lens
-Stopping myself from playing with said camer and lens until P gets home from work
-Weeding the garden
-Grocery shopping
-Buying gifts for the orphanage director and nannies
-Visiting a friend's son who just broke his arm - delivering a really cool looking Xbox game to him
-cleaning the house

Just another day really!! Argh!!!

T xxx

NTT anyone?

The next important step in the journey to Oliver is the NTT - the Notice to Travel. This is basically the China Centre of Adoption Affairs (CCAA) saying..."Come on Over guys!!".

We can't go to China until this piece of paper arrives....usually parents will meet their kiddies about 2-ish weeks after the NTT arrives....and ours isn't here yet :-(

Realistically we were expecting that we wouldn't receive this document until the end of next week at the earliest, but other couples in the ACT who received news of their children just a few days before we did got their NTTs last Monday - they had a 1 week turnaround from when China received their acceptance paperwork - fast, really fast.

I was hoping that the same would happen for us, but it hasn't. Our acceptance paperwork was sent back a little too slowly for my liking (it can't go until everyone in our "batch" - all 6 couples, submit theirs). Ours was back at the adoption department in record time (of course - would you expect anything less?), but it took another 2 days before everyone else's was submitted.....frustrating, but there's not a lot we could do to hurry everyone else up (trust me, P and I tried every strategy we could think of!).

Anyway, we now wait for this piece of paper and then from there we can decide what date we would like to meet the children on. Again, this is done as a group....should be interesting....P and I are hoping that the NTT will arrive next Monday, if that's the case we will ask to meet Oliver on the 13th of April. Sounds like there are others in our batch who would prefer to wait until the 20th April to meet the kiddies because of other commitments.....WTF?

I guess we will sit tight and then cross that negotiation bridge if and when we get to it.

Everyone repeat after me - C'mon NTT!!!!!! C'mon NTT!!!

The Difficult Things...

Are the important things.

It's funny how oftentimes the hardest things to think about are the most important...well, this is one of those things.

Attachment. The first human relationship we have, the relationship that sets the template upon which all subsequent relationships in our lives are superimposed. Children raised in healthy birthfamilies will usually form their primary attachment to their mother. Ideally, mum will be consistent, warm, sensitive and responsive to her baby's needs, and the baby will learn that the world is a safe place, their needs will be met, and they will generally feel good about life. This positive first relationship with their mother will then be the template for the baby's future relationships - with their father, friends and relatives, romantic partners, and even work colleagues.

If a baby learns that it is OK to trust, OK to love and that they are safe, they take this feeling with them (and yes, for my fellow psychologist friends reading this, I know that's a very simplified explanation....but it kind of covers it don't you think?).

But what if you spend the first months/ years of your life in an orphanage where you don't have a consistent caregiver, your cries are not responded to and your needs are not met? What if you do attach somewhat to a particular caregiver in the orphanage (whose care is "OK" - not a substitute for a mother, but someone who occasionally smiles at you, and changes and feeds you) and then one day you are taken away from them without explanation?

This is one reason that adoptive parenting is different to biological parenting. Adopted children will often have some difficulties with their primary attachment, because they have not been given the chance to learn how to trust in relationships. They will often be the "good" children who aim to please everyone (as they don't trust that people will love them if they are anything but "perfect"), will be very friendly to everyone (even strangers) and will not effectively discriminate between those they can trust (primarily their parents) and others (like the lady in the checkout).

Giving Oliver the best chance to form a strong, positive (secure) attachment to us is the reason that P and I will be "dropping out" of social situations for a while when we are back from China. We will also be making sure that only we do all of the caregiving for him for quite some time (I know many of you will be disappointed that you'll miss out on those initial nappy changes!).

By having exclusive and consistent caregivers (P and I) who feed, bathe, comfort, entertain, change, soothe and physically connect with Oliver, we hope to give him the opportunity to learn that we are his parents, we are the ones he can turn to for anything he needs and he will get it, and that his world is now a safe, predictable place. We firmly believe (and the psychological literature completely supports) that if Oliver can securely attach to me, then P, that his emotional and psychological wellbeing will be positively impacted by this.

We know that everyone is as excited about Oliver coming home as we are - we have been truly touched by everyone's kindness, generosity and excitement over the last few weeks (as well as your support and love over the last 7+ years!)...We know that Ollie is so scrumptious that you are all going to want to smother him with cuddles...but we ask that initailly, until we feel that he has had a chance to really learn that we are his parents, that you understand why we are going to do all of the caregiving ourselves -although I'll be keeping a list of everyone who wants to do nappy changes down the track OK? ;-)

This analogy (below) about attachment is very moving and thought provoking, and I think gives a good idea of what Oliver may have already experienced as he was separated from his birthmother and taken to the orphanage, and what he may be about to experience as we become his parents and bring hime home.

It is difficult to read, absolutely heartbreaking in fact, to begin to imagine how terrified and confused my darling little boy will be by all the enormous changes in his life...but important to think about.

Love to you all,
T xxxx

A Different Perspective
Imagine for a moment… You have met the person you’ve dreamed about all your life. He has every quality that you desire in a spouse. You plan for the wedding, enjoying every free moment with your fiancée. You love his touch, his smell, the way he looks into your eyes. For the first time in your life, you understand what is meant by “soul mate,” for this person understands you in a way that no one else does. Your heart beats in rhythm with his. Your emotions are intimately tied to his every joy, his every sorrow.


The wedding comes. It is a happy celebration, but the best part is that you are finally the wife of this wonderful man. You fall asleep that night, exhausted from the day’s events, but relaxed and joyful in the knowledge that you are next to the person who loves you more than anyone in the world…the person who will be with you for the rest of your life. The next morning you wake up, nestled in your partner’s arms. You open your eyes and immediately look for his face. But it’s not him! You are in the arms of another man. You recoil in horror. Who is this man?


Where is your beloved? You ask questions of the new man, but it quickly becomes apparent that he doesn’t understand you. You search every room in the house, calling and calling for your husband. The new guy follows you around, trying to hug you, pat you on the back. . .even trying to stroke your arm, acting like everything is okay. But you know that nothing is okay. Your beloved is gone. Where is he? Will he return? When? What has happened to him?



Weeks pass. You cry and cry over the loss of your beloved. Sometimes you ache silently, in shock over what has happened. The new guy tries to comfort you. You appreciate his attempts, but he doesn’t speak your language-either verbally or emotionally. He doesn’t seem to realize the terrible thing that has happened...that your sweetheart is gone. You find it difficult to sleep. The new guy tries to comfort you at bedtime with soft words and gentle touches, but you avoid him, preferring to sleep alone, away from him and any intimate words or contact. Months later, you still ache for your beloved, but gradually you are learning to trust this new guy. He’s finally learned that you like your coffee black, not doctored up with cream and sugar. Although you still don’t understand his bedtime songs, you like the lilt of his voice and take some comfort in it. More time passes. One morning, you wake up to find a full suitcase sitting next to the front door. You try to ask him about it, but he just takes you by the hand and leads you to the car. You drive and drive and drive. Nothing is familiar. Where are you? Where is he taking you?


You pull up to a large building. He leads you to an elevator and up to a room filled with people. Many are crying. Some are ecstatic with joy. You are confused. And worried. The man leads you over to the corner. Another man opens his arms and sweeps you up in an embrace. He rubs your back and kisses your cheeks, obviously thrilled to see you. You are anything but thrilled to see him. Who in the world is he? Where is your beloved? You reach for the man who brought you, but he just smiles (although he seems to be tearing up, which concerns you), pats you on the back, and puts your hand in the hands of the new guy. The new guy picks up your suitcase and leads you to the door. The familiar face starts openly crying, waving and waving as the elevator doors close on you and the new guy. The new guy drives you to an airport and you follow him, not knowing what else to do. Sometimes you cry, but then the new guy tries to make you smile, so you grin back, wanting to “get along.” You board a plane. The flight is long. You sleep a lot, wanting to mentally escape from the situation.


Hours later, the plane touches down. The new guy is very excited and leads you into the airport where dozens of people are there to greet you. Light bulbs flash as your photo is taken again and again. The new guy takes you to another guy who hugs you. Who is this one? You smile at him. Then you are taken to another man who pats your back and kisses your cheek. Then yet another fellow gives you a big hug and messes your hair. Finally, someone (which guy is this?) pulls you into his arms with the biggest hug you’ve ever had. He kisses you all over your cheeks and croons to you in some language you’ve never heard before. He leads you to a car and drives you to another location. Everything here looks different. The climate is not what you’re used to. The smells are strange. Nothing tastes familiar, except for the black coffee. You wonder if someone told him that you like your coffee black. You find it nearly impossible to sleep. Sometimes you lie in bed for hours, staring into the blackness, furious with your husband for leaving you, yet aching from the loss. The new guy checks on you. He seems concerned and tries to comfort you with soft words and a mug of warm milk. You turn away, pretending to go to asleep. People come to the house. You can feel the anxiety start to bubble over as you look into the faces of all the new people. You tightly grasp the new guy’s hand. He pulls you closer. People smile and nudge one other, marveling at how quickly you’ve fallen in love. Strangers reach for you, wanting to be a part of the happiness. Each time a man hugs you, you wonder if he will be the one to take you away. Just in case, you keep your suitcase packed and ready. Although the man at this house is nice and you’re hanging on for dear life, you’ve learned from experience that men come and go, so you just wait in expectation for the next one to come along. Each morning, the new guy hands you a cup of coffee and looks at you expectantly. A couple of times the pain and anger for your husband is so great that you lash out, sending hot coffee across the room, causing the new guy to yelp in pain. He just looks at you, bewildered. But most of the time you calmly take the cup. You give him a smile. And wait. And wait. And wait.


How would each of us handle all these changes?How would this impact us for the rest of our lives?

©2006 Cynthia Hockman-Chupp.

The Kindness of Strangers

You know how some weeks you plod along in life and, through a series of unrelated (and usually pretty minor) incidents, you get the impression that the world is going to hell in a handbasket, and people just suck....well, last week was one of those weeks. Until....

Until P and I went shopping on Saturday. We'd stopped for a mid-morning caffeine boost and noticed 2 caucasian ladies and a Vietnamese girl aged about 7 sitting nearby. Having our "adoption radar" on high alert, we wondered who the family were, and whether the little girl was indeed adopted.

After coffee, we went into a gorgeous little toy shop next door to "browse"..the family we had noticed was in there too. I couldn't help myself, so quietly excused myself and asked one of the ladies if her beautiful child was adopted (when the child was well out of earshot of course!!). She replied that no, she wasn't adopted, she was her foster daughter. I explained that we were about to go to China to adopt Oliver, and apologised for intruding on her privacy.

She got a little teary, and told me that she had always wanted to adopt a child from China, but had been unable to. I felt a connection with this lovely lady that I had never met before. She had a mother's heart.

I was waiting at the counter to pay for something I had "browsed" at...when the lady came up and bought a beautiful blue picture frame...and then gave it to me as a gift, along with a big hug and a huge smile.

This lovely lady had bought us a gift for our son - we had met her 2 minutes before!

We were both so overwhelmed by her generosity and kindness... For once I didn't know what to say. This little boy of ours is already creating magic.

People are so surprising...sometimes in a really good way.

Nanna Goes Shopping...

Mum and I met up for some shopping and lunch today - that's twice in 2 weeks which is absolutely unheard of - long may it continue!!

We stopped in at Myers....and mum went a bit mad with the shopping...
Just quietly, I think she's a little bit excited about our little boy!

Here are the gorgeous things she bought her grandson....notice the groovy sunglasses, and the gorgeous rashie and stripey swim pants :-)

I can't wait to see little Ollie-Moo in these gorgeous duds!!

Thanks Mum xxxx

Just Because....

He's so beautiful...

I love you Oliver

Mummy xxx

Glorious Chubbaliciousness

We received updated measurements of our little (or not-so-little!) Ollie yesterday....

Apparently he now weighs 10kg (at 7.5 months). Gulp...guess I'd better add more rice to the baby carrier (I bought a baby carrier a few months ago and have loaded it up with 8kg of rice....I walk around the house with it on for about half an hour every day in order to try and get used to the weight, and avoid nasty achy back in China. The neighbours must think I'm insane....)

The measurements given out by China need to be taken with a grain of salt (or maybe, with a bag of rice!) as they are often overestimates of the children's true weight...probably the children are weighed on dodgy scales, fully clothed in their 2000 layers that the nannies put them in to keep warm.

Regardless, I'm not risking it.....Time to buy some more rice.....

T xxx

If you could send love in the mail....

This is what it would look like

We are hoping that our adoption department will be able to send this package of love to Oliver...we are prohibited from having any contact with him or the orphangage until "meeting day", so we have to entrust the adoption department with our precious package and hope they send it on safely for us. P and I have slept with the little blanket and moo cow...we have tried to "pong them up" (as P describes it!!) so that they smell a little like us. I've sealed them all in plastic ziplocks so hopefully the smell will linger...sounds awful doesn't it?!!

We have also enclosed cameras in the hope that we might get a glimpse of Oliver's life before us. The lollies are for the staff, not for Ollie! The little photo album has photos of P and I with the Chinese characters for "Mama" and "Baba" on them, and there is also a little rattle and a bound document with questions in Mandarin about Oliver, his likes and dislikes etc.

Hopefully this will all arrive safe and sound to him.

We have bought doubles of the toys and blanket and will take these to China with us in the hope that he will then get to have something slightly familiar around him (if he gets the package of course).

In other news:

• Oliver's immigration paperwork has been received by the immigration department in Shanghai
• I have nearly caused the poor JP at the local shopping centre to lose his hand from overuse as I gave him lots and lots of documents to certify this morning
• Oliver's cot and changetable have arrived at the shop - Yay!!! We will get them this weekend...and then try and find space in the nursery for them (in amongst all the pink frilly clothes that I need to sort out and pack away!!)

Thank you all for your lovely thoughts and wishes, and for the beautiful comments on this blog. Can I ask a favour? Please don't use our names in the comments, just our initals....P is paranoid about maintaining some privacy ;-)

T xxxxx

Taking Care of Business

Intention to continue with placement letter - check

Acceptance of allocation forms - check

Immigration forms sent to China- check

Preliminary flights booked - check

Minor mental breakdown - check

Immigration forms arrived in China - check

Enormous stress caused trying to get 6 couples to agree on every aspect of trip to China - check

Care package lovingly prepared for Oliver - check

Doing all that we possibly can to get to Oliver quickly - check, check, check

Surviving (just!) on 3 hours sleep per night - check

Incredibly messy house with paperwork from pillar to post - check

Falling in love with our son more every day

CHECK!!!

First Family Photo

A family of three....

Almost!!

Cloud Nine

That's where we are right now....it's a nice place, albeit a lot more hectic than I had ever imagined!

Here's how the call that changed our lives went down....

Our adoption officer, RT, phoned me at home at 3.45pm on Thursday...I saw that it was a private number and just froze. I was shaking before I even picked up the phone, as I just KNEW that this was it!!

I said Hi to RT and then said "Is this THE call"....she said yes...and I nearly passed out. I let her know that P could be home from work in about 45 minutes, and arranged to call her back as soon as he got home. Oh, that was after I let some not-very-motherly 4 letter words slip out!!

Side Note: P and I had decided months ago that we wanted to be together when we found out who our child was. Normally parents this is not what happens, but we decided that even if it meant having to wait a few hours more to find out who Bug was...we would continue the next part of the journey as we always have - holding eachother's hands and being together. I am very grateful that we were able to hear the news at the same time, in the same room.

I was shaking so much at this stage that I couldn't even dial the numbers on the phone...or remember what P's mobile number was!!! When I did phone P he was with someone at work.. I very calmly (I think!) asked him to excuse himself for a moment, which he did. As soon as he said he was outside of the consultation room I just said "This is it...it's time...come home". He then let some not-very-fatherly 4 letter words slip out, and told me he would have to finish his consult and then could be home in 30 minutes.

I hung up and then raced around the house - I asked (very hurridly and probably not too politely) the fellow who cleans our house to leave - NOW - as I wanted to be alone. I don't think he knew what to do!! I got my "Lucky Mama" Tshirt on, put some makeup on and set up the video camera. The bloody tripod broke as I was setting it up - but more 4 letter words and some quick improvisation with phone books got that sorted. I set up the dinig table with tissues (of course), the list of questions we had prepared the day before, some nice paper for P to write down the details of the call on, and P's special pen (a 40th birthday present from his gorgeous family).

My darling husband arrived a mere 30 minutes after I called him (during which time he performed a minor procedure on someone, finish his consult, got back to his office, let staff know he was leaving, arranged for someone to cover for him, get to the carpark and drove the 15 minutes home).

We checked that the video camera was working (thank you L and S for the loan!!!) and then phoned the adoption department.....we then got given the information that will change our lives forever.

We have a son.
We are parents.
We have a son.

I'm crying again as I type those magical words.

We are so blessed.

Introducing....

Our Son...



We now know who "Bug" is....he is Oliver.

Isn't he the most beautiful boy you have ever seen? I'll answer for you - YES!!!!!

My instinct was right. We received "the call" on Thursday afternoon...and our feet haven't touched the ground yet. We are absolutely in love with our precious son, and feel so very blessed to be his Mama and Baba.

We hope to have him in our arms in about 6 weeks.

Love,

Oliver's Mummy and Daddy xxx

Special Time

My darling mum came to visit today...we had a lovely lunch and and even lovelier chat. It was so wonderful to get to spend time one on one with her - a rarity.

It has done me the world of good and helped me not go over the edge today (which was a distinct possibility this morning...I was on very dodgy ground indeed!!).

Some days you just need your mum...today is one of those days.

Thank you mum. I love you.

Is Today the Day?

I've woken up with my stomach in knots and my mind going a million miles an hour....is today THE day??


I know that it probably isn't, and that realistically it will be at least tomorrow before we hear anything....but I just have a feeling - or is it just wishful thinking?


P.S. Our latest ultrasound.....

C'mon Stork!!!

Feeling Loopy

I had a lovely day yesterday. Thankyou to the three gorgeous friends involved in making it such a special day.

L and I browsed through baby departments and coffee-d and lunched; G and I had coffee and a catch-up, and M left hilariously excited messages and texts until she finally got hold of me.....then she was not pleased with me as I refused to shout and scream down the phone to match her excitement (in my defence I was sitting in the middle of a very quiet restauarant at the time!!!)

During the day yesterday I felt strangely calm and in control, and OK.

Today however.... Fruit Loop City.
Couldn't get to sleep last night despite being exhausted!! I laid there most of the night staring at the ceiling (and at the screen of my Iphone)...wondering who our child is - is she a girl or is he a boy? How old will he/she be? Is he/she awake right now somewhere in China, lying in a cot staring at the ceiling...where in China...what are we going to name him/her....do I need to wash my hair in the morning in case we get "the call" tomorrow...should I get up now and wash my hair just so I'm ready....oooh, look - it's 3am.....

You get the picture....it's not pretty.

My nerves are officially fried. My poor husband.

Possibility of getting "the call" today - 1%...but I'm preparing for it anyway!!!

T xxxx